This chapter recounts the secret social lives of double lifers as they experimented with other ways of living, writing, and feeling in digital and face-to-face spaces. It describes the inescapable changes the experiments on double life wrought on exterior forms, such as on bodies and clothing, in writing or speaking. It also looks into the exterior changes of double lifers as efforts to feel more comfortable in their own skins and hints to their loved ones that they were slowly changing inside. The chapter explores the double life of Jews that are manifested in rebellious, sexualized partying in the comfort of ultra-Orthodox settings and sampling of objects, tastes, writing, and experiences based on ultra-Orthodox imaginaries of the secular world. It analyzes how double lifers pursued newfound values of autonomy, self-expression, and personal fulfilment yet stayed close to the emotional attachments of ultra-Orthodox sensibilities.
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